


Respect

by Snidged



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Sex, Awkward Romance, Blow Jobs, First Time, Fluff, M/M, Masturbation, Post-Series, Skype, Talking about sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-09 15:07:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4353695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snidged/pseuds/Snidged
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Haru, I will never do anything to you that you are not ok with”, Rin could hear his own voice talking to him from the past, “all you need to is to tell me to stop, and I shall.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

”So, you guys heard that thing about Rin already?” The boys had just met each other and barely sat down for a coffee at the mall when Nagisa popped the question up.

“Which one of his things?” Makoto asked politely, “he is quite active at Snapchat publishing all kinds of things.”

“The one about him coming out of the closet!” Nagisa tried not to yell as they were in a public area, but this seemed to be too sweet of a topic to be talking about that it was hard to him not to get all excited, “like, was I the last one to get to know it?”

“You were”, Makoto smiled at the boy who had been doing some serious growing up since he and Haru left school, “I’m afraid I might have had something to do with him being so open about it lately.”

“You had something to do with it?” The younger swimmer asked in an awe, “so you knew?”

“I thought it has been obvious for a while now, so I asked him personally”, Makoto answered, “and that was… After he swam the relay with us?”

“You’ve known for two years and didn’t tell me!?” Nagisa was now shouting and Rei, who was sitting next to him, had started looking over his own shoulder to see if anyone was watching them with an bad eye.

“I don’t think it was my place to tell his personal things to anyone.”

“Well, I do think that Makoto you did the right thing”, Rei defended Makoto, “if it was a thing he wanted to keep to himself, then you had to respect that.”

“Don’t tell me you too knew before me”, Nagisa frowned his face.

“I’m not saying that! I’m just saying that Makoto did the right thing to keep it secret and that it had been quite obvious and so I am not shocked. I’m actually relieved, for him that is. Staying in the closet is one of the worst things you could do to yourself”, Rei told the other boy while taking off his glassed and cleaning them up. Nagisa didn’t seem satisfied. 

“But so he is like full gay? Just men, right? Because I always wondered why he didn’t have a girlfriend or two, because he seemed like the type for any girl to fall for”, he said, poking his cheesecake with his spoon.

“Or, in this case, any man”, Rei reminded his friend.

“Yeah, yeah that too”, Nagisa said hastily, “is there anything else I should know about? How about you lot? Any secrets you’ve all been keeping from me?”

“Well, you already know about me and Sousuke, so there you have it”, Makoto laughed.

“You and WHAAT?” Nagisa jumped on his feet and his chair fell to the ground. The other people at the café were now all looking their way.

“Is anyone of this team actually straight?” He said, looking at his 4 man team who were all meeting after the longest time, “because I sure am not.”

“’twas obvious”, the last one of their team spoke the first time since they had entered the café. Haru took a sip of his tea just to make clear to everyone that he had finished speaking.

“Yeah, Nagisa, you‘ve been fairly open about it for these years”, Makoto said, “I’m just wondering that when you and Rei finally get together.” Both of their faces turned immediately red and even Nagisa had to sit back down, only to notice that he didn’t have a chair anymore. He got back up soon enough and tried to play it off.

“We would not do that”, he said mumbling, redness covering his face and ears, “we’re just friends.”

“And I do want to point out that I may be bi, and I do appreciate both men and female bodies, I still count myself as a healthy demisexual”, Rei said with a serious tone, hiding his facial embarrassment under his hand.

“What is that?” Nagisa asked.

“Don’t you use the internet? Demisexuals take time to develop feelings. We don’t go falling in love with everyone we meet!”

“So you just warm up slowly?” 

“That’s-! Ok, that’s one way to put it, sure”, Rei waved his hand at Nagisa to get over this conversation. Nagisa proceeded to begin poking his cheesecake once more.

“So Rei is bi, Makoto is gay with Sousuke, Rin is gay and I am gay. Then what are you, Haru?” He turned his gaze at the black haired young man.

“Nothing”, he said bluntly with his normal expression that told nothing.

“Rei, what do you call someone who has no interest in men nor women?” Makoto asked the person in front of him.

“Depends if it’s romantically or sexually?” 

“What do you mean?” Haru asked, finally putting his teacup on the table.

“So are you full on “I do not care about people”, or do you still have sexual desires or just romantically?” Rei tried to explain, but the face that Haru was making told them all that he was not following.

“As in do you like kissykissy-stuff, do you want sex or do you want none of that”, Nagisa jumped back to the conversation, trying to explain it as he had understood from what Rei had told them. Haruka seemed even more confused.

“Well not quite but we can go with that”, Rei said, looking at Haru now.

“I don’t know”, dark haired young man said finally.

“Fine then, do you feel more attracted to female gender, to men, to both or non? And don’t you answer that you like water, you damned dolphin,” Rei was not going to let this subject to go now that they were talking about it. Haru’s eyes got unfocused as he started staring at the wall next to him.

“I don’t know?” He said the same thing again and both, Nagisa and Rei, huffed. 

“Haru, have you ever felt that strong need to be with somebody?” Nagisa asked and they could see how Haru’s eyebrow’s curled.

“Or can you actually get it up? Do you masturbate? Have you ever wanted sex?” Rei knew he was probably going over the line of what could be asked from this person and what, but he didn’t care. 

“Or have you been with anyone?” Nagisa was quick to come up with even more questions.

“Ok, now you two stop it”, Makoto said with even more serious tone.

“But I am?” Even Haru’s voice was confused, “I am with Rin?”

“You are with Rin-, you are with WHAT?” Nagisa would probably have jumped again from his chair if Rei hadn’t pulled him down before he could do that. Even Makoto had stopped eating and was looking at Haru like he didn’t believe what he had just heard.

“He told me he liked me”, Haru looked at his friends, “and I accepted it. So he asked if we could date, and I said yes. He is coming to stay over at my place now that he is coming to Tokyo.”

“When did this happen?” Makoto asked.

“When we were at Australia?”

Now even Rei couldn’t stay still and he and Nagisa both jumper on their feet, startling Haru and Makoto. 

“You two have been together for almost a year and we didn’t know!?” It was Rei who yelled this time. 

“Well I wouldn’t call it together because we’ve seen only few times and it doesn’t get physical, but-“

“YOU TWO HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A YEAR AND YOU HAVE NOT GOTTEN PHYSICAL!?” Nagisa screamed, but this time he realized that he was actually way too loud and quickly got back down, hands covering his mouth. 

“How does it not get physical with you two?” Rei asked, doing something with his hands that looked like he was trying to hold the whole world in his grip, “Rin is like the most physical person it the world and you two are like two sexual gods with your thick bodies and HOW CAN YOU TWO KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF EACH OTHER.”

“Rei, please”, Makoto pleaded, calling him to sit down, “we are in a public place. And I’m sure that whatever Haru and Rin are doing with their relationship, they are doing it because they both have agreed to it.”

“No”, Rei slammed his hands on the table and looked at Haru with those burning eyes, “I need to know. Now. Haru, are you asexual or not?”

“Ase-?”

“Do you have sexual desires? Yes or now?”

“Yes?” Haru answered with a doubt in his voice.

“Do you have romantic desires?”

“Yes?”

“Are you in love with Rin?”

“I-… I don’t know.”

“Do you want to be with him?”

“Yes?”

“Have you ever felt anything similar to anyone else?”

“Well-, yes? No, not actually. Rin is different.”

“Do you want him to touch you?”

“He wants to. I’d let him.”

“Do you want to touch him?”

“If he wants to, yes?”

“Do you actually love him?”

“Yes!” Haru didn’t even raise his voice to answer and he seemed to get confused about his own answer, “yes. I do care about him very much.”

A voice that indicated a message on a Nokia-phone rang and both of them lost their focus. They both looked at Nagisa who had his phone on his hand, and he was reading the arrived message with a content grin.

“He is quick to answer on Whatsapp”, the said merrily, “Rin, is it true that you and Haru are together? Rin: What is this about? Yes, it’s true and a horrified smiley.”

“You actually decided that it was a good idea to send him a message about it”, Rei commented with a disappointed tone as Nagisa’s fingers started tapping his phone once again, “what are you sending him now?”

“Well I wanted to know if it’s true or not”, Nagisa said innocently.

“In any case, I’m happy for you two”, Makoto said to Haru, smiling at him, “you could have told me though.” The black haired one said nothing, just focused on his tea again. Makoto could have sworn that he heard a small “thank you”.

“And forgive me my questioning, I wanted to know that you are serious about him. You two have always been a pair of fools who could burn each other out before realizing it yourself”, Rei said, finally calming down, “but I can’t tell if you are an asexual or aromantic or whatever you are.”

“I think that he is Haru”, Makoto told him, “and he can enter a relationship by his own terms.” Another voice came from Nagisa’s phone and he was quick to open the message up.

“Ok so I asked him if you two have gotten physical like you said that you have not and he send me a picture of his middle finger and told me to mind my own business. Now he is asking that is Haru with me, I’m going to tell that we are all four here”, he said quickly and started tapping a new message. Rei rolled his eyes and finally began eating his cupcake that had been waiting for its change to get eaten.

“That’s actually a fine explanation”, Rei mumbled after he had taken a bite from his cupcake, “Haru is and always has been Haru. You don’t work the same way as we others do, and I should not try define you as I could do with the rest of us. I am sorry.”

“Is that a compliment or an insult?” Nagisa asked without looking away from his phone.

“Compliment!” Rei defended himself and his own words.

“Haru, you two have kissed, right?” Makoto asked from his friend who once again forgot to put on a facial expression. It took him a moment to muster up an answer, like it was truly something he was unsecure about.

“We have”, he answered slowly, “but I didn’t like it.”

“How can you not like touching those lips”, Rei asked acting all over dramatically, “to feel that smooth skin on your own lips, to feel his strong hands holding you, warm against his own body-… Argh, Haruka, how could you do this to him!”

“Rin wants to remind Haru that he is supposed to pick him up at the metro in an hour and that he is going to kick your ass if you show up late. And that he is also going to kick my ass, just in case. Is that a way you two show affection? Does this mean that he also likes me?” Nagisa read the message from his phone and lifted his face up to see Haru’s expressionless expression, “wait, I’m actually going to ask him that myself, but what, you two were going to meet in an hour? You were going to leave us like that to have a date with him?”

“I was going to take you three to come and meet him too”, Haru said, “I thought you all knew that he was coming to Tokyo.”

“Ok why is it that I know nothing!?” Nagisa moaned.

“I’d love to meet Rin”, Makoto said happily, “it’s been a long time we’ve seen face to face.”

And meet they did, after they had finished up what they were eating and went to the metro way too early. As Nagisa noticed that he was not going to get anything interesting out of Haru, he began pursuing Makoto about his relationship to Sousuke. Makoto seemed more than happy to answer the younger swimmers questions, and it gave Haru some time just to be in his thoughts. As they arrived to the station Rei noticed that Haru kept checking the time and seemed to act a bit less relaxed than he usually did. 

The metro came in time, as it was expected. The four swimmers were all at a corner so no one would walk over them in a hurry. Nagisa jumped up and down, trying to locate Rin from the crowd. It was no surprise that he was the first one to recognize the red locks and the usual cap Rin always wore.

“There he is! RIN!” He shouted, waving his hand so they could be seen. Makoto noticed how Haru suddenly got more relaxed when they heard Nagisa shouting that familiar face. The crowd moved slowly, letting the redhead push to where they were after he had noticed the familiar faces.

“There you guys are”, he grinned as he got to where they could hear each other. He looked the same as he always did when travelling, cap pulled deep into his head, and body covered in overlong jacket. He was carrying a large bag, where he carried all his stuff for the visit.  
“Hi Rin!” Nagisa jumped to greet him, “it’s so nice to see you!”

“Can’t say the same about you”, Rin joked, poking the younger boy to his cheek, ”are you ever going to grow up, you little devil?”

“Hey, I’ve done a lot of growing up lately”, Nagisa said angrily.

“Sure you have”, Rin said, patting him on his head, “slowly and steadily.” He moved forwards and both Makoto and Rei took a step back to make sure he got closer to Haru. Both of them stopped and their eyes met. Rei could see Rin’s face light up to a smile that was nothing like he had seen on his face. On the other hand Makoto was watching how Haru stared back at the redhead.

“Haru”, said Rin, not moving any closer.

“Rin”, Haru called him back and it all seemed way too familiar. There was a sparkling wave of chemistry between these two, so strong that Rei could taste it in his mouth, yet they did nothing to solve that electricity. He didn’t know if this was an awkward meeting for these two or something normal. The moment seemed to take forever, yet it consisted only of Rin and Haru staring at each other.

“Oh come ON, give me SOMETHING! What kind of meeting is that?” Nagisa shouted as the moment just kept going. Rin looked back at the younger boy and laughed it off.

“Oh shut up, you”, he said with no bad intentions and took a step closer to Haru. He just slowly raised his hand to meet Haru’s cheek, as expecting the other one to run away if he was too eager. Haru did not meet his touch, but he also didn’t back away from it. 

“Good to see you”, Rin said with a voice that hardly could be heard by anyone but Haru in that noisy mess that was the station. His fingers run softly to just lightly touch the dark hair.

“You too”, Haru told him a bit too bluntly, but no one took it as so. They could tell by the facial expression and his body language, which he was just unsure of what to do with his voice, rather than being too forward. Rei felt a bit disappointed. Where were the normal moments of a long awaited meeting, the kissing, the hugging, the handholding, the love confessions and how much these two had missed each other? Where was the romance, the passion that these two had always had for each other?

What the hell was this?

And it just kept going on. Once they left the station, he could not see these two holding each other by and, or making any physical contact outside of playful pumps that Rin made to Haru with his elbow. Rei and Nagisa had enough questions to entertain their way up to where ever they were going to, but they were disappointed with how little information they truly got from these two. It was almost like they were not together at all. Even as they had to part ways as Rin had had a long arrival from Australia to Tokyo and they were heading to Haru’s place, it still seemed as if Nagisa and Rei had not learned anything new about them.

As the duo left, the younger swimmers both attacked Makoto.

“Why are they like that!?” Nagisa screamed.

“What is wrong with them?” Asked Rei, horrified, “Are they already going to break up? I see no passion!”

“Relax”, Makoto asked, perfectly knowing that Haru and Rin were still on a distance where they could hear these two screaming, “Rin was just too tired, but Haru was clearly happy that Rin was with him.”

“How can you tell?” Rei asked, and Makoto looked at his two friends, that were walking away from them.

“It’s all in his eyes”, he said, smiling, “he looked at Rin the same way as he looks at the pool after winter. You know he doesn’t scream or jump in joy when he goes for a swim. He is easy to read when he gets emotional like that. I’m sure they are going to have a great time together in Tokyo.”

* * * 

As Haru and Rin walked towards Haru’s apartment, Rin could feel a light thud on his hand. He felt Haru’s fingers curling to his own, and he felt a small relief and he curled his own fingers to meet the other hand.

“You ok with this?” He asked, squeezing the hand tenderly.

“I missed you”, Haru answered, without really answering Rin’s question. But to Rin, it was more than enough for an answer.

“Missed you more”, he said contently. Haru walked him up to his apartment, not letting go of that hand for the whole time. Rin took everything he could from that small sign of affection that was quite rare and unexpected from Haru. It would have been enough for him just to walk beside him, but if Haru was ok with this then Rin would not complain. The moment was over as they got to the apartment and Haru had to use both hands to let them both in.

“It’s larger than I expected”, Rin said as they got in. Haru closed the door after them, letting Rin some time to just walk around the small hallway.

“It’s enough for me”, Haru said, switching from his shoes to the other pair, meant for inside use, “you can leave you stuff wherever you want. Are you how tired from the flight, do you want to sleep or?”

“Nah, I’m fine”, Rin took off his cap and dropped his bag next to the wall.

“Hungry then? I have-“

“Mackerel?”

“Actually I was going to say tuna.”

“Have you changed your daily menu?” Rin laughed as Haru led him to the small living room – kitchen combo.

“Had to. Sensei made us all to have strict diets for summer. Otherwise I’m out of the team”, Haru didn’t sound too happy about the fact that he had to eat something else than what he normally did, but Rin knew it was only good for his health. 

“Does your strict diet tell you not to order something simple for dinner?” Rin grinned, just eyeing the room. It was no surprise to him that the whole apartment was clean and hold almost no personal possession. It was all so very Haru.

“Perhaps. But I already had a piece of cake today, and there is a rather great bento place that does home delivery.”

“Bento sounds good. I’m pretty much done with the Australian fast food for the next month or so, before I start missing it again. It’s a circle and I can’t get over it. Once I’m in Japan I miss Australian food and once I get back there I want nothing more than a good bowl of Ramen and it is killing me”, Rin started telling as he walked over to the small couch Haru had in a corned right next to a TV that seemed like it was barely used. He didn’t see Haru’s laptop anywhere, so it was probably in his room since they had talked just last night on Skype.

“So, bento?” Haru asked, taking his phone from his pocket as Rin sunk on his couch, “or are you really missing the taste of ramen? I know a place from where we could order but it would take about 30 minutes longer-”

“Haru. Only thing I’ve really been missing is you”, said Rin as straight as he could, without missing a beat. It took a moment from Haru to collect himself from his words. The dark haired swimmer coughed.

“Bento?”

“Bento is fine”, Rin told him, “I don’t care what, just surprise me.”

He watched as Haru just quietly tapped the right number and called the place. Rin enjoyed just watching Haru, he had always enjoyed. It had took him a while to read him, but Makoto was a great help with it. He has shown Rin, that you could never read Haru as you read the other people. He was a person who always forgot to decorate his face with expressions, and could hardly ever speak with just using body language, but the truth was always buried in his eyes. Those eyes as clear as water and as alive as the waves of the sea, when rest of the face stood firm and basic. Even if it was talking to the phone, Haru’s eyes were lit up, reflecting the lights as moved across the floor holding his phone to his ear. He spoke way too loudly, as he was still unsure how to use the damned thing and as if the guy on the other end of the line didn’t hear a word he was saying. He was never the guy to really use technology before Rin had told him to learn how to. They had had a rough start even with the laptop and how to use Skype, but Haru had mastered the skills needed in a no time.

And now he was making a call, all from his own proposal. Rin could not be prouder of the young man he got to call his boyfriend.

“Will be here in 30 minutes”, Haru told him as the phone ended.

“So is it ok for me to use the shower while we wait?” 

“Sure. If you need a towel just use the blue one. I left it there for you.”

“My, you’ve been thoughtful”, Rin said as he shifted himself up from the chair, walking pass Haru. He stopped by his side for a brief moment, just letting his fingers run on Haru’s cheek, watching his face up close. The other one didn’t seem distressed about the touching, but Rin didn’t dare to go any further, even if he was met with curious look from those blue eyes.

“Thanks love”, he said, letting go of Haru’s face, making his way to the bathroom that hold the shower too.

“Please don’t call me that”, he got called back but he didn’t mind. They had been through the same conversation over the Skype so many times that it was more obligatory than a tease.

It didn’t take long for Rin to get clean, as showering was never a thing he enjoyed for a too long time. He was a swimmer, he enjoyed being in water, but getting splashed by it was only a mild satisfaction. Sure, Haru had a bathtub, the guy could not survive a week without one, but right now Rin didn’t feel like waiting it to get full and bubbly. He just got rid of the feeling of travel on his skin, the smell of his own sweat that had been building up during the long flight. Water felt great on his skin like it always did, but he was out of the shower long before the dinner had arrived. 

He got back to the other room, where Haru had found his laptop and was on the floor just scrolling through something. His face came up as he heard Rin entering the room. 

“You were quick?” He noticed.

“What, am I supposed to stand there doing nothing for the rest hour?” Rin joked, drying his hair to the blue towel, “I bet your water bill is way too high without me rising it up even more.”

“Whatever”, Haru said and Rin noticed to his delight that his blue eyes were focused on bare skin, as Rin was not wearing a shirt after the shower. It was an improvement of their relationship that had taken way too long to build up.

“I’ve got to tell you, I was a bit shocked”, Rin said, throwing the towel over his shoulders.

“Of what?”

“That you actually told to the trio about us. I would have bet that it would have taken you at least another year to open up to them”, he told him just casually walking to the place on the floor opposite of Haru and sitting down. The blue eyes followed him as he did so.

“They are our friends. They deserve to know and I thought it would be time for me to take things seriously”, he said to Rin.

“So that’s what this is all about”, the redhead collected all the dots, “from you wanting me to stay at your place to unexpected handholding to you being overly nice.”

“Is it… Bad?” Haru asked, and Rin saw the diffidence in those blue eyes he adored to death.

“I’m not saying that”, he hummed with a smile that exposed all his teeth, “but I don’t want you to do anything you are not ready to do. But if this is what you want, then you’ve made me really happy.” Haru dropped his gaze to the floor.

“I wanted you to be happy”, he mumbled and Rin had to smile even more. Haru could be so damn adorable even if he didn’t even try to act so. He could be strong, he could stand for what he believed if he wanted to, and there were no side of him that Rin not adore to little pieces. Even now, when he was trying to be sweet when they both knew that he literally had no idea how, Rin couldn’t help but respect his efforts. 

It must have taken a lot from Haru to even accept Rin as his boyfriend. First it had felt like he had just went with the flow after Rin had confessed, not even knowing if he felt the same or not. Even then Rin had respected Haru’s will to take it slowly, even then he understood how it was difficult for him. Never had he pursued himself on him, it was important for them both that Haru did the first move. Rin could wait, he was fine with it. They had met only few times after they had finished the school, and even fewer as he moved back to Australia and Haru moved to Tokyo for his studies. They communicated mainly through the internet, and even that was slow from time to time.

It was Haru who first send the first topless photo. It was also Haru, who first asked if they could try something new via Skype, something he himself was fairly uncomfortable with at the beginning, but what he really wanted to try. It was also Haru who stopped the game in the beginning, saying that he wasn’t ready to continue, and Rin accepted it too. They tried again in few weeks, again from Haru’s suggestion, this time both of them going through with it together. It had been a big moment for Rin, as he understood that it wasn’t only him who wanted to feel Haru on another level, but that the other one felt the same feelings towards him. Those special moments became nothing like regular, yet irregular times once or twice in few weeks was something Rin cherished like mad. He had received pictures, some mental, some just on his phone, that could help relieving himself if he was in greater need, and for most days it was enough.

But here, sitting next to the actual person from those photos, the man who had been driving him crazy for years in ways he could not explain, Rin felt like his body was giving up. He wanted to touch that forbidden fruit, but at the same time he wanted to respect his personal space. It had to be Haru who once again should make the first move, or they would both be unhappy.

“Haru”, he told him, “I am happy. And also hungry. When is the food coming?”

It still took around half an hour for the doorbell to ring and Haru left the apartment as he had to run all the way down the three floors to open the door as the button that should have opened it up from upstairs was not working. Rin was left to the apartment to watch something from Youtube that Haru had wanted to show to him (as he had finally been able to learn how to use that website). Wasn’t long until he arrived back with two plastic bags. He offered the other one to Rin, who placed the computer away and took the food.

“I actually have no idea what these are, I just offered something”, he admitted.

“It’s cool”, Rin said, “if I have something you would have wanted then just tell me. Or we can share.”

And share they did. It didn’t take long to notice that Haru had managed to order two totally opposite sets of food, so they both got to taste what the other one had got. They both thought that the one they had gotten was better than the other one, but in the end it was clear that they were just saying it for the sake of the game. They were sitting on the floor beside each other, knees touching the one sitting right opposite, holding the bentos so that if the other one saw something they wanted they could just take it. Rin saw an opportunity had Haru seemed to like the wieners so much that they were the first ones to end up almost finished. He acted quickly, snatching the last remaining wiener to his chopsticks. 

“I wanted that”, Haru said quicker than they both expected he would.

“Do you still want it?” Rin grinned, and he saw that Haru got the hold of this game. The look on his face was priceless.

“Not really, not anymore”, he said, but they both knew that he didn’t quite mean it.

“You could still have it”, Rin teased him, “but what are you going to do to get it?”

Haru’s lips turned into a thick line and he thought about backing off. 

“Please?” He asked and leaned forward as if he knew that Rin could not resist those blue eyes. There was a butterfly or two at his tummy alright, but the redhead kept his cool.

“Can I ask you to open up?” He asked and he was surprised to not see doubt in Haru’s eyes. The other one just opened his mouth up and Rin got the small pleasure of feeding him. Haru munched up the last wiener, and swallowed.

“Thank you”, he said and continued digging into the bento that was his. Rin smiled and did the same. They finished up, and as they had nothing to wash, Rin just threw the boxes to thrash and they were done. He felt the food in his stomach warming him up and making him even more exhausted than he originally was. 

“Are you thinking about going to sleep?” Haru asked as yawn took over Rin’s body.

“Not really, it’s not even late yet”, he said as the yawn finished, “but I guess I could?”

“Can I join you?” 

It was a question that made Rin really light up. He checked Haru’s expression just to make sure he was really meaning it. It was not like they had not slept on the same bed before, but he just had to make sure.

“Do you want to?” He grinned.

“I didn’t sleep well last night”, Haru turned his head to the side, and his hair fell on his forehead, “because I knew you were coming, so I cleaned the whole place up during the night.”

“Then it’s settled”, Rin said adamant, “you are also going to bed before you end up staying up for another night.”

* * *

Haru’s bed was just enough for two of them. It wasn’t as big as the one they had back at Australia, but times were a bit different back then. Rin found the bed to be conformable and the room dark enough. He knew that only had to close his eyes and he would fall to a deep sleep for the next ten or so hours. He still checked his phone to notice dozen of messages. Half of them were from Nagisa, each of them being dirtier than the other and Rin had no interest to read them. The other half had come from Sousuke, who had apparently learned two things today: 1, that Rin and Haru were a thing, 2, how to use caps lock. Makoto had apparently told him everything and now he was devastated that Rin had not told his ex-roommate a thing. 

“Why is my phone full of messages from Sousuke?” Haru walked to the room holding his own phone.

“Please tell me that they are less mean spirited than the ones he send me!” Rin laughed, writing a quick message back to his best friend: “well now you know. g’night.” 

“I didn’t even know that he had my number”, Haru sat down on the bed and scrolled through the messages.

“Bet he got it from Makoto”, Rin put his phone on mute and placed it on the floor next to bed, “I’m sleeping now so goodnight?”

“Yeah, sure, goodnight.”

It was a bit cold from both of them, but it wasn’t their fault. Or, actually it was, because there was way too much unresolved sexual tension between them both. Rin knew he would have wanted so much more from this moment, and he knew Haru knew that, yet he still didn’t want to pursue anything further. It would have made things even more awkward between them, as if it already wasn’t when it came to this.

Rin was surrounded by Haru’s scent and it was about to turn him mad. It was his bed, so what was he expecting? It didn’t help at all that the person himself was just behind him, sitting on his own bed before laying down to sleep next to him, so close, that they were pound to touch at some point during the night.

Was Haru ok with it all? Was he able to sleep in the same bed with Rin, even if they had done it before? What if it all became too hard for Haru and he had to call it off? What if Haru began hating Rin’s touch so much that they could not be a pair?

It was like they both could feel the tension rising between them. It had always been there and everyone knew not to mess with them when they were focused only to each other. Yet this was not solving that tension up, but messing it up even more. 

“Haru, I will never do anything to you that you are not ok with”, Rin could hear his own voice talking to him from the past, “all you need to is to tell me to stop, and I shall.”

“Rin”, he heard Haru saying and his insides twisted.

“Yeah?”

“Am I alright?” His voice was low as he asked that one question.

“What are you on about now?” Rin huffed, not opening his eyes.

“Do I annoy you?” Haru asked the second question and Rin could feel the bed moving as Haru turned around to meet his back.

“Totally”, he joked it off, “and always have. Oh god have you annoyed me my whole life. It just turned out that I wasn’t annoyed by you, but the very opposite.”

“But I mean this whole-, eh, Relationship-thing. I know you want more”, Haru spoke to Rin’s back, “and it has been a year since Australia. Am I alright?”

“Haru, I’ve already told you a thousand times”, Rin turned on the mattress and opened his eyes, seeing the dark haired young man sitting on the bed close to him, “I’m not going to make you do anything you are not comfortable with. So the actual question is that are you comfortable with me?”

Haru looked like even he didn’t know the real answer to that question. He took a long deep breath of air and lifted his legs on the bed too, still looking down at Rin who was laying on his bed.

“I am”, he said, “and I want you to touch me. I’ve had a year to think about it and I know I want to do it with you. Not just over Skype, because now you are here with me.”

It was Rin’s turn to take a deep breath. He didn’t move, but just watched those blue eyes that were as focused as they were every time they were getting ready to swim.

“Do you know what you are asking?” He had to ask, even if they had had intimate moments over the internet.

“Yes”, Haru told him, “I know how it all works. I’ve-. I’ve done my research and I want to know how it feels with you.”

Rin rose his upper body up so they were on the same level. Haru allowed him to take him by the hand and did not twitch away. With his free hand Rin took him by the chin and pressed the gentlest kiss on his lips. Haru did not meet his kiss, he did not know how, but stayed in it as long as he could. It wasn’t a long kiss, nor a passionate one because it didn’t have time to get to that as Haru pulled off and turned his head away.

“Still not ok?” Rin breathe out, comforting him with light brushes on Haru’s hand. 

“Still not ok”, was the answer and Rin understood. It has been ok from the day one, Haru was the one who accepted kisses but did not enjoy them. 

“Is it ok for me to kiss anywhere else than on the lips?” Rin asked.

“I want to try”, how could Haru know if they had not tried it? Rin took the permission as what it was and pulled Haru closer to place a soft kiss on his chin. As there was no negative reaction, he started moving slowly to the neck, leaving a trail of curious but wary kisses. He could feel Haru stiffen under his touch.

“I need you to relax”, he whispered between the kisses, “Otherwise you are never going to enjoy any of this.”

“It’s not important”, Haru said and led out a small sigh.

“It is to me”, Rin leader back and looked him into his ocean blue eyes, “you are my first priority here.”

“Rin, I’m fine”, Haru said and surprised them both by moving his hand steadily across Rin’s thigh, “I’ll try to relax.”

The redhead nodded, and helped Haru out of his shirt, leading him down to lay on the mattress. Rin took the time to admire the view, letting his hand lightly touch the smooth skin on the body that was built to swim. He got on top of him, other leg on the side of Haru, other one between his legs. Rin leaned forward, kissing the skin on the body he admired to the point it hurt. Haru let out mild sighs as the one on top moved on his body. It was almost like he didn’t actually understand weather or not he was supposed to enjoy it but for what it was it did not feel so bad. It was all about Rin loving him, not taking advance of him in any way. Haru felt good, he felt like he was loved and respected as who he was and he felt his body relaxing little by little.

Well, not all of his body. There were some parts that were just getting started. Just like those times on Skype, when he had felt like his head was spinning just from hearing Rin speak and say his name. It was all about this one man that got him to not make sense anymore, how he got him now feel scared and to be ready for anything stupid.

Rin took one of his nipples to his mouth and just licked, and Haru felt the electricity going all the way from his spine to somewhere between his own thighs. He heard himself moaning and could almost feel the grin on Rin’s mouth, as the redhead made tender circles on that sensitive area. The feeling was strange, and yet some part of Haru wanted it to stop. He failed to relax and he forgot to breathe at all. It didn’t take long from Rin to notice it again, and the kissing stopped. Haru felt him leaning away and he got scared. Quickly he rose his upper body so they were both sitting, Rin on his lap, looking surprised, as if he was about to say something but Haru’s reaction got him to stop.

There was a moment when they just watched each other closely, carefully examining the person opposite. Haru could see how Rin was already breathing deeper from arousal, carmine red eyes hunting his gaze like a predator his prey, a prey that would run away from any sudden movements. 

At that moment it seemed clear for both of them that this was not going to work this way. It was painfully clear for Haru that he wasn’t ready yet, but he wanted to be. He wanted to be ready for Rin, he had dreamed of this moment for far too long to go back now. 

“Haru?” Rin’s voice was soft and Haru’s gaze dropped on the shirt the red head was still wearing. He collected his courage, moving his fingers on the texture of the shirt. 

“Could you-… Not look at me for a moment?” Haru asked, embarrassed, as his fingers curled on that shirt. Rin didn’t question the plea, just averted his eyes from Haru and looked at the space between them two. Just like the redhead just a moment ago had helped Haru with his shirt, it was now Haru who peeled the shirt off Rin’s body. It left the red logs messy and unorganized, and it was a sight the darker haired young man enjoyed. He sunk his left hand to that mess of carmine hair and moved the logs for side to another. Rin closed his eyes and leaned softly to that touch. With his right hand Haru mimicked the touches that were had left on his own skin, following the same trail on Rin’s body that went from the chin to lower body. His fingers felt how Rin reacted to the touch, body slightly shaking. He even felt the heart pumping in that body, and his fingers stopped to listen to that for a while. Haru pressed his palm on the place where the heart was hidden. Rin was alive under his touch.

“Tell me what to do now”, Haru asked, wanting to make Rin feel good if he himself was unable to enjoy this.

“Would help if you’d let me to get rid of my pants”, was the answer, “it’s getting a bit tight down there.” Haru could feel the hardness in between the redhead’s legs, and he let both his hands to fall on the space between them both, were his leg was under Rin’s hip. He felt the bulge under the fabric and his fingers run on it. A small cry of pleasure escaped from the back of his boyfriend’s throat and it took a hold of Haru. He had heard those cries before but never when they both were even on the same country. That sound went straight to the area between his own legs and that’s when he was sure that this is what he wanted, to make Rin feel good like that. 

He helped Rin to undress from those pants and he noticed how the carmine eyes were once again open, watching Haru’s reactions.

“Seems like you are red even down there”, Haru noted.

“Oh shut up”, Rin murmured, “and so what do you want to do now?”

“I need to be prepared, right?” He asked and Rin left a weird noise.

“What the hell Haru, did you just say that out loud? You really wanna go that far?” 

“Yeah”, Haru said almost like he didn’t understand why Rin had a reason to question it, “I thought it was clear from the start?”

“Nothing is quite clear with you ever, is it? So how are we going to do this?”

“I’ve got lotion”, Haru said and nodded his head to the space outside the bed, “it’s under the bed if you wanna grab it.” Rin rose an eye brown but got off Haru and got the bottle.

“Where the hell did you got this from?” He asked, examining the bottle, “you really don’t seem the type to just waltz to store and buy something like this.”

“Actually I got it from your sister when she said that I my skin was too dry from all the swimming. The next day she had bought me that. I’m pretty sure it was a joke from her, but it turned out to be useful in the end. But not for the skin”, Haru told the story and now it was time for Rin’s other eye brown to rise up.

“You actually want me to believe that Gou got you lube”, he said slowly, making it clear how ridiculous it sounded like, “you should have said that it was Nagisa and I actually would have believed. Wait, what the hell-“

Rin took a closer look at the dark bottle in the dark lighting and read what was on it. His face was full of so many emotions, that Haru was sure that he was going to explode. 

“Haru, you are telling me that Gou got you 50 Shades of Gray anal lube – for your skin.”

“Well it doesn’t actually work for skin anyway, so-“

“My sister bought you 50 Shades of Gray Anal Lube”, Rin said again, slower this time, giggling in to his own words, “please tell me you have followed the outside world to know what 50 Shades of Gray is.”

“Not really”, Haru shook his head, “I didn’t think anything of it.”

“Well, so, it’s an erotic series of novels for women about BDSM-sexual relationship. It means bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism, and so, well, let’s just say I do think Gou bought this to you as a joke”, Rin said, just dropping on his belly on the bed.

“Oh. Ok”, Haru said, and he really didn’t understand what the joke would have been, “but so can we use that?” Rin hold his upper body up on his elbow, and just rolling the bottle on his hand.

“Oh sure, sure”, he laughed, “I’m just trying to recover from the shock. What the hell Gou? Why is my sister such a pervert?”

“And so what are we going to do now?” Haru took a better position to sit, and Rin rested his head on Haru’s leg, thinking.

“Well, I could blow you while doing whatever, I think it would be easiest for you”, he said, running his finger up the leg he was currently using as a pillow, “or I could give you a hand job now. Whatever feels best for you? Or if you prefer loosing yourself up by yourself, then that’s ok too.”

“You mean-, you mean you’d take me to your mouth?” Haru felt the rush of blood on both, between his legs and on his face.

“Hell yes”, those carmine eyes looked up to meet the blue ones, “if you want me to.”

He liked the sound of that. Rin had established very clearly how Haru was always the one who could tell what to do and what not, and it made him feel save. He really wanted Rin to feel good, and if this was the way to do it, then he was ready for it.

“Hell yes”, he said and it didn’t take long from the red head to obey as he rose from Haru’s leg and pulled himself closer. They both helped Haru out of his pants and Rin took a good place between his legs while Haru leaned down. He was already a mess, as the pre-cum poured down the side of his manly member. Rin wasted no more time, as he licked the cum and took the thing in to his mouth.

Haru gasped as Rin’s mouth was warm and sloppy. He would have noticed how Rin took extra care not to harm Haru with his sharp teeth, but right now he did not notice a thing. As Rin worked him up and down, the only thing he could think was: “yes”. His respiration got frantic as it simply felt so damn good. 

“Holy shit, Rin”, he heard his own voice say and Rin hummed with delight for the reaction. Haru heard the bottle opening, and felt Rin’s fingers teasing his hole, but was quickly forgetting about it as his body trembled. His hips tried moving, but he said no it and tried his hard to stay from pushing himself to the back of Rin’s mouth.

“Jesus, Haru, you’ve got to relax”, Rin took his mouth away for a while to speak up and Haru heard how his voice had gotten lower from the slime in his throat, “just let your body do as it wants.”

“R-rin”, was the only thing Haru could say at that moment, and he got rewarded by a satisfied grin.

“’Atta boy”, Rin said and inserted the first slimy finger. The feeling of weird pain and even weirder satisfaction took a hold of Haru and he was very much unsure how to react. He was once again in Rin’s mouth, while that one finger worked him up with a care. It was so weird, but at the same time so good and Haru did has he was told to do. He allowed with body to react to the touch, electricity going through his body like even that didn’t know where is was going. Was is the swollen member between his legs that was the source and the reason for this feeling, or the feeling of Rin’s fingers clearing the way.

“Oh shit, oh shit Rin, I’m-”, as he had relaxed to the touch, and allowed himself to feel good, it didn’t take long for his body to finish up. It was way too soon, but he could feel himself coming. Rin took the hint, but did not pull off, just took care of him until the end. Haru came in to his mouth, moaning uncontrollably. The cock came out of the mouth, the last spurt of semen landing on Rin’s lips.

“Always in a hurry, are you Haru?” He licked the white fluid off his lips and kissed the inner thigh.

“Rin, I’m so sorry”, Haru felt the embarrassment taking over him as the orgasm was done.

“For what?” Rin smirked, “for the fact that I am awesome and get you to cum so easily? Hey, it’s all good, this is normal, you’ve got nothing to apologize.” There was a red color of shame and pleasure on Haru’s face, but he accepted those words with a nod.

“You still want to continue?” The red head asked and was met with another nod. 

“Is it ok if I’d turn around?” Haru asked, lowering his knees.

“You don’t need to ask for something like that”, Rin smiled at him, rising up on his knees to make way for him to move. With the permission Haru turned around, taking a pillow under his head and took a comfortable position. He turned his head so he could see Rin coming over him, leaving a trail of kissed on his lower back. The fingers teased Haru’s ass that was already slick from the lube. Two fingers slipped in without any problem, and the Rin had relaxed the muscles just enough as Haru didn’t feel pain anymore. It was still not something that could be called a pleasant feeling, but he guessed that it was ok. More lube was poured from the bottle, as the fingers stretched the hole wider.

As Haru’s breathing got deeper once again, Rin knew that we was getting ready. He took the fingers away.

“Haru”, he said, “I’m still staying this once, that-“

“If I want to stop, then I just need to say”, he met the gaze from those blue eyes, and saw no fear in them, “don’t worry. I won’t.”

“Fine”, Rin nodded, taking a position where he could enter, “then I’m going in.” Haru relaxed on the pillow, and Rin’s cock met the slippery hole. He took a hold of Haru’s hips and slowly pushed in, leaving time for the ass to get used to it. As he didn’t get far on the first push, he started moving with small pushes, little by little getting deeper. It was almost as he was pulled in, the muscle welcomed him oddly well.

Haru was moaning once again. His hips moved on their own to meet Rin’s thrust that slowly raised the pace. They moved on total sync, their bodies understanding perfectly what the other one wanted. As the pace got faster and Rin’s pushes longer and deeper, a chain of curses mixed up with Haru’s name came from his mouth. Most of it made no sense and some of it was in English, and Haru drank it all, leaning in to those words and that voice. His head was spinning again and he took the pillow under him to his mouth so he could make sense to something.

“Fucking hell, Haru”, Rin cursed in Japanese, and moved one of his legs to outside of Haru’s body to get a better angle, “I fucking love you, you know that? Oh fuck-“

Haru turned a bit, and their position turned all together so that he was sideways, Rin holding his leg up. Now Haru could see his face again, when Rin moved inside him with those long and deep thrusts. The red logs had fallen on his face, and carmine eyes were unfocused as he was panting heavily. Haru bit his own lip in his our arousal. The pace got faster once more, as the pushes got shorter and it was clear that Rin was about to come.

“Rin”, Haru breathe out, “I love you too.”

Rin kissed his shoulder has the warm liquid filled Haru from the inside. They parted, leaving him empty and wet, but satisfied. Rin fell on the mattress, still panting, carmine eyes searching the blue ones as Haru turned to meet him and curled close to him. Neither of them spoke for a while, they just listened for other one breathing as they relaxed together.

“That was better than kissing”, Haru was the one who spoke first and Rin smiled at him.

“Good to know”, his voice was a bit tired, “because it was awesome for me.”

“Mm-m”, Haru snuggled closer and closed his eyes, breathing Rin’s scent in, “I think I could get used to this.” One last kiss was placed on his forehead, before Rin settled to sleep next to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the first night Haru takes time to think back the times they first got intimate on Skype.

Haru woke up feeling unclean, the warmth of his room surrounding him fully and painfully. It was one of those bad things about summer, you could sleep without your clothes or any cover because it was warm enough, but it also got damned sweaty in matter of minutes. Yet it was only one of the reasons why Haru felt unclean that morning.

He shifted away from the bed, carefully not to wake the other person sleeping it. Like every morning, the first thing he did was to get to the bathtub, filling it with cool water. It was part of his daily routine, one he was not willing to give up. 

The water welcomed him as it always did, and Haru enjoyed sinking in the hug it gave to him. The rubbed the ugly, slimy feeling away from his skin and fingers, then simply just stayed there. He was in his element, surrounded by it, loved by it. Yet his body wanted more of it, to be able to swim through it, to feel the waves against his skin, to taste the salt of the ocean in his lips. It was a simple want, and he enjoyed the familiarity of it. 

He had felt the same need with Rin.

Rin was like water to him, something he could not survive without, part of his daily routine. Last night was to Haru as great as the feeling of pool and chlorine after the long winter. Not as great as the ocean, but satisfying enough even with that chemical substance that kept it clean. He wouldn’t have traded it away now that he had it, but he knew it could be better.

He could be better.

But he could not do it. It felt wrong to him. Haru wanted to be able to fully be happy with Rin, just as much as he also wanted to grow a tail and become a merman, but both of them seemed impossible. Haruka Nanase could not be like everyone else, to be fully in love and to show it to the world. He didn’t seem like the type for Rin Matsuoka, with all his energy and ego that could fill up a pool or two. Haru saw himself to be too down-to-earth (or water, what the hell) kind of type and now that he was afraid of being touched it all just seemed so wrong.

Yet with Rin it all seemed so right!?

Haru took a breath and pulled his whole body under the water. The sweet silence took him over and he just stayed there for a while. As he was like this, his mind emptied of all things that bothered him. He wanted to stay like that forever, in the water, with water, because it was part of him as he was part of it. But even he could not hold his breath forever. First it was bubbles that he let out him his mouth, making it a bit easier to stay there. The silent buzz in his eyes started taking over his body, as is lungs asked for air. In the end he had to pull himself up, before he would faint in the tub. The air welcomed him, making its way into his body and taking the pain away. The silence was now gone, and back came that one familiar name, with familiar face and familiar voice, taking over Haru’s every corner of mind.

* * * 

“You there?” Said the familiar voice, but the video was not yet up. Haru took the moment just to find his headset and setting it up. Both videos came up the same time and Haru saw the body of the person he was talking about. Rin’s face came to the picture just to check if the video was up yet.

“I’m here”, Haru said to the mic, adjusting it better. He could see Rin’s lips moving, but the voice was oddly down. He noticed that he had mixed the two cords again and he had to change them. While he did so, Rin walked out of the picture.

“Well now I’m here”, Haru said again, this time hearing the other people talking in English in the other side of the call, “and you are not.” He didn’t mind it, just placed the laptop on the couch as he himself was sitting on the floor his sketchbook. He should have been reading the assignment he got from the University, but Haru really wasn’t in the mood for it after a long practice that he had had just earlier. Instead he wanted to finish up the drawing he had started last night. The assignment could wait.

“I’m heading to the beach with Karl, do you want to join us?” He heard the unfamiliar voice asking. Haru didn’t exactly understand all of that, but Karl was one of Rin’s two roommates. He lived with two other boys of his age, Karl, Australian guy who knew nothing about swimming and Teemu, a Finnish guy who had just moved in with them. The speaker had to be the last one.

“Nah, I am going to stay home tonight. I have to finish a report for tomorrow”, this voice belonged to Rin and it was easier to hear because he was closer to the mic. The video was still Rin-less.

“You could do it at the beach!” The other guy told him.

“No he can’t, because he can’t take his boyfriend with him”, another voice, Karl, shouted from the distance, “hi Haru, if you can hear me!”

“Hi”, Haru mumbled after he had heard his own name to be said. He didn’t know if Karl could hear him or not.

“Aww, c’mon man. Long distance relationships suck anyway. I bet you could find another guy at the beach anyway.”

“Haha, funny Teemu, very funny. Just go without me, I’ve been swimming all day anyway”, Rin’s voice was closer now, and as Haru looked at the video he saw the redhead popping in to the picture, still looking over to wherever the two other guys were.

“Say hi to Karl”, Haru said again, this time knowing that Rin could hear.

“Haru said hi to Karl”, Rin translated the ask to English, and turned himself over to the computer, “and it seems that he is drawing again. Or doing something really weird to his knee, I can’t really tell.”

“Oh, he is on now?” The other voice came clearer and there was a guy who really seemed to want to be in the picture too. He leaned over and Haru saw a really pale, blond guy looking over at him.

“Konnichiva you there!” The guy almost yelled and did something that seemed like a mockery to the Japanese bow, “watashiwa Teemu-des! Did I say it right?”

“You didn’t”, Rin said in English, then turning to Japanese to speak with Haru, “so this is Teemu, the guy from Finland, and he apparently tried to speak Japanese.”

“Hello”, Haru just nodded, then looking back to his sketch.

“Do you speak English, Haru?” The Finnish guy asked from him.

“A little”, Haru answered, not really caring about the guy. He didn’t see how the third guy came to the picture too.

“What’cha doing Haru?” Karl asked him.

“Nothing.”

“Weren’t you two supposed to go to the fucking beach or not?” Rin asked from the duo.

“I just wanted to see what this great almighty Haru looked like”, Teemu leaned away from the picture and Karl had to back away too, “so you are both Olympic-level swimmers and dating. Kinda cool. He looks cute.”

“Don’t say that, he gets shy from compliments”, Rin laughed and Haru over glanced at him. He had a faint idea that they were talking about him, but could not follow the conversation further. Rin seemed to be either tired or in an awkward position, Haru couldn’t tell which one it was, but it was clear that the red head wanted to get rid of his roommates.

“Oh well”, Teemu said, disappearing from the picture all together, “I think we should go?”

“Yes, I agree. But bye you two, play nice. I don’t want to clean the ceiling again”, Karl said, and it looked like Rin was trying to kick him.

“Bye”, Haru waved his hand, but the two guys probably didn’t see it anymore. They and Rin kept yelling for each other for a moment, so he just concentrated on the picture. It didn’t seem to come out as well as he would have wanted to, the pen seemed to have something against him today. As the voices lowered down and Rin was left alone, Haru glanced again at the guy in the video. Rin was trying to find a better position to sit in, he lifted his feet to the table and leaned back on his chair.

“So how was your day?” He asked as he settled down, but seemed to realize that he was supposed to do something else. He changed his position once again, taking something from the floor.

“Normal”, Haru told to the mic, “Sousuke tried swimming again. His shoulder got even worse and Makoto stopped training to be with him when they tried to find something to do with it.”

“Well good thing Makoto is there to keep him under control”, Rin’s voice said, as he searched through some papers, “Someone needs to tell that guy to take is slowly, or he’ll never swim again with that hand.”

“Yeah”, the picture wasn’t turning out at all like Haru would have wanted to, “my sensei took a look at the hand and told him to stay away from the water for at least a year. He told him that if he could fix it in that time, then he could apply to the team.”

“But he is not going to take it easy”, Rin could already tell where this was going.

“But he is not going to take it easy”, Haru agreed, “Makoto is worried about him.”

“Is it just me, but is it like super fishy that the three of you just happened to get to the same national team and just happened all move to Tokyo at the same time?”

“Sousuke and Makoto are not in the national team”, Haru told him, “Makoto just gets to train with us and they use his pass for Sousuke to get to the gym.”

“Yeah whatever”, Rin didn’t probably even listen, “it’s still fishy to me. Is it true that they found an apartment together?”

“It sounded more like an accident”, Haru frowned at his drawing and took the eraser to basically destroy everything he had done since the call started, “Makoto was just trying to find any flat he could share, he even tried to get me to come live with him. They found the place at the same time and didn’t know they would move into with each other until the day they did.”

“Or that’s what they told everyone to make it sound less suspicious”, Rin joked around, still looking over the papers in his hand, “just wait, in three months or less we are going to get a happy announcement from them. It’s just the matter of time when they find each other to be way too interesting now that we both are out of the picture.” He threw one of the papers away, placing the rest down on the table and started doing something on his computer. They didn’t speak for a moment, as Rin opened a tab or two. It was just a way to spend the evening for them, they didn’t need to speak or even pay attention to each other, the other one was there if they were needed and it was fine.

“Did you get my letter?” Haru asked as he remembered the thing he had send few days ago. It took a moment from Rin to focus back to Haru from what he was currently doing.

“Did I get your what?”

“I send you a letter”, Haru said again, “I wondered if you got it.”

“Oh, I did not even check the mail when I arrived here”, Rin almost jumped off the chair and left the picture. It gave Haru a moment to let go of the drawing and just wait for him to come back. It didn’t take long, as Rin arrived and waved a familiar letter on the video.

“This one?” He asked, while sitting back, “oh, it has a small dolphin on it. Has to be from you. You want me to open it now?”

“Yes, I would want to see your reaction”, Haru said, leaning closer to see clearer. Rin looked up to the camera, sat back and started opening the brown, fairly large letter. Haru was happy to see that it has not been damaged during the trip to Australia, as he had feared. The white paper was pulled from it and he saw how the carmine eyes drank what was on it.

“No way, you didn’t”, Rin said, looking over the drawing that was on it, “hell no. Wait, this is the picture I send you?” Haru could feel his cheeks turn red and he watched his reaction to the drawing he had made for him.

“Yeah”, he answered. It was a sketch of Rin, he had drawn it from a picture he had received from said person a while back. Rin had taken it after he came back from a run, just to show Haru what he had been doing when he didn’t answer a text for a long time. In it he was still sweaty and panting, red hair going everywhere. 

“Woah, just look at the details”, Rin was almost in another world as he was still looking at the picture, “you still have the original one?”

“Yeah, it’s on my-… Phone”, Haru said, not telling the full truth. He actually had it on his screen, so every time he opened his phone there was a sweaty, exhausted Rin to meet him. They had been sending photos back and forward, but the one was at that one still his favorite of the ones he received. But these were the things he could not say aloud. Not even to the person in the picture.

“Have you done others?” Rin looked up.

“Others what?”

“Others like this?” He pointed at the one in his hands, “because I’ve send you some pretty private pictures. Just wondering?”

“Oh”, Haru resisted the urge to look at the one he had been drawing most recently. It was just one of those pretty private ones. No way he was going to show Rin that one.

“You have”, said the voice on the other end of the line and he could hear the smirk in his tone, “you little pervert.”

“Am not”, Haru told him, “you are just interesting to draw.”

“What’s the one you were just doing? Is it a dirty picture?” 

That’s when both of them noticed something popping up in the corner of their screens. It was Makoto’s name. It didn’t take long for the chat with him and rest of the Iwatobi-team to open up and the Skype to start ringing, as Makoto wanted to start a video-chat with them. Rin leaned away from the screen and made a frowny face.

“I’m going to answer”, he said, “see you soon.” The original call ended and Skype told that the videochat with Makoto and Rin started. Haru waited for a moment, then answered the call as well.

“Hello to you too, Haru!” Makoto said as soon as the call started from his side.

“Hi”, Haru said, finding the sketchbook again to continue where he was before. He noticed how Rin was still eager to see what he was doing, but acted like he didn’t notice him.

“Is Sousuke there?” Rin asked from Makoto.

“No, he went to buy something to eat. I offered to go with him, but he said he needed time alone. I’m just worried that he’ll do something stupid with his shoulder again. Did you hear about the practice, Rin?”

“Yeah, I did”, Rin said, “that stupid son of a bitch. Why does he keep overdoing himself?”

“I don’t know, but it’s so sad for him”, Makoto sounded like he was personally offended by the fact that Sousuke didn’t take him to the shop to help him.

“Well, at least he has mother hen Makoto taking care of him”, Rin laughed and Haru looked up to see how Makoto kind of blushed, “hey, want to know what came up from Japan today?”

“Rin, no”, Haru told him but of course it was too late. He could look away as Rin showed his drawing on the video.

“That’s one of Haru’s, isn’t it?” Makoto got up and clicked, most likely making the picture bigger, “that’s awesome! It’s Rin, right? Did you do that from memory or did you use a model?”

“I had his picture”, he could not look at either of them right now. Rin, c’mon, why’d you do this to him?

“I feel kind of jealous”, Makoto giggled, “why have you never done one of me?”

“I have”, Haru said, flipping pages of the book he was holding. He found the picture he had sketched when they were still in same school and hoisted it up for the camera. It was a side view picture of Makoto, when they had been in the same bus together. The drawing was quicker, because Haru didn’t have enough time to finish it back then and didn’t look back at it after the trip, but it was one of the few he had of Makoto.

“When did you do that one?” Makoto asked, his face lighting up with delight and Haru explained to him, “oh! I never noticed! It’s beautiful, Haru, it really is. Could I have it?”

“Sure”, he didn’t know why Makoto would want an old drawing like this one, but he didn’t have a need to save it so he could have it. Haru took the picture off the book, making sure it was fine and placed it on the couch so he would not forget it. Meanwhile Rin and Makoto had started talking about Sousuke once again, and he didn’t feel like joining in. Instead he grabbed the pencil and tried to remember where he was just before. This went on for fast 20 minutes, until Sousuke got home and joined the conversation after he opened his own computer. It was somewhat hilarious that they both were on their own computers, as they lived in the same apartment, but it didn’t seem to bother them. Haru continued his drawing while his friends were lively as ever, Makoto taking up the duty to cook for him and Sousuke and Rin finishing up his report while they were all four still talking. They didn’t need Haru to be commenting on every little thing, he could just stay silently there and do what he wanted to do while listening to them talk.

Then it was Rin’s turn to get hungry, and he left the picture, leaving Sousuke and Haru pretty much alone with the back of Makoto showing up as he was preparing meat. They acted like the other one wasn’t even there, Sousuke applying ice gel or something similar to his shoulder and Haru not even raising his head up from the drawing. There was just nothing to talk for the two of them, so they didn’t. Instead Haru focused fully on the black and white Rin he had almost finished. The picture had some details that made his stomach feel weird. It was one of the more private pictures for sure. He couldn’t stop looking at the picture, all the little things he had drawn in there just for his own amusement. 

And to know that the real thing was even better than anything he could draw on the paper.

Makoto came back to the picture, and invited Sousuke to eat. Why did they have to do that in skype too was beyond Haru, but he told them that he was going to shut the call anyway. It ended with the usual: “Have a good meal” and then Haru was left in silence. He took his headset off his head and rolled his shoulder on its rightful place. It left a crunching noise, but after a while it felt normal again. He was going to get on his feet now that there was no one on the Skype with him as the conversation between him and Rin got alive again. 

Rin: did you leave?  
Haru: Still here  
Rin: cool wanna still talk?  
Haru: I want to try something. Call me.

He didn’t know why he wrote those words, but it was something he had been thinking for a while now. They had not been the most public couple for the last few months, and they had pretty much done nothing outside of few dates and constant calling/texting and teasing each other with more or less naked photos. But now, after drawing that one picture, Haru felt a familiar need that had not been satisfied and could not be satisfied with just pictures. 

Skype rang again and Haru put the headset back on. They were now back at where they were before Makoto had called them.

“What’s up?” Rin asked. He was still eating something and Haru could not tell what. He felt like he could not speak, as the words he wanted to say were too odd for him. 

Haru: I don’t know how to but it to words.

He had to write it because it didn’t feel natural for him. This peeked a curiosity in Rin, who took a better seat.

“Aww, I’m dating a shy boy”, he teased lightly, “c’mon, I won’t bite. Hard. Actually I just might.” Haru smiled at the tease, and tried not to think about getting bitten by those sharp teeth. It might actually hurt, a lot.

Haru: Are you still alone?

“Yeah?”

Haru: Ok. I read this thing about Skype-sex.

Poor Rin. He hadn’t known what to expect, so he had just showed more food in his mouth. As he read what Haru had just written, he seemed to breathe it all in and had to cough up for a moment just to survive from the shock. When he came back to the picture his face was all red and his eyes were watery.

“Well, you have my undying curiosity”, he said after recovering from the shock, “so tell me, what did you read about it.”

Haru bit his lip and tried to figure out the right words for this one.

Haru: Seemed interesting. I would like to try.

He thought twice before pressing send, but as he did he still felt wrong about it. He wanted to try, there was something interesting about thinking about seeing Rin come on the video, but at the same time he felt unsure about himself. Would he be able to go through something as embarrassing as this?

“Now?” Rin asked, “do you understand what you are asking?”

“I thought you might like it”, Haru finally spoke again after the first bit of embarrassment fell off of his chest, “I mean I think I’d be ok with it, it-. Kind of seems embarrassing, but-.” But he couldn’t get the words out again. There was a part of their relationship that was missing, and that part was called intimacy. If he was not ready give it to Rin in person, then how about like this?

“This would be”, Rin told him, “like, what would you want to do? Talk dirty? Or listen to me do the same?” 

Haru looked down to the drawing he had finished. He could already hear the words in his mind, spoken in Rin’s voice, but they were only his own imagination. They had never spoken about these kind of things, talked dirty, as Rin put it. But he wanted to, yet it sounded like even the person on the other end of the call knew that Haru would not be ready for it.

“Perhaps another time then?” Haru looked back at the picture and saw Rin nodding. 

“Don’t worry”, the redhead leaned back and smirked, “you’re still going to be the last thing I think about before I fall asleep.”

And you will be the last thing in my mind before and when I relieve myself to the picture of you.

* * *

Few weeks later the situation was a lot like back then. Rin’s roommates were gone out, Nagisa had just ended his end of the call as he went to sleep and the private conversation between Haru and his boyfriend was the only one up. They had not been talking for almost an hour, if they didn’t count small comments or occasional: “I need to go to the bathroom”-notes. Neither of them had to wake up early the next day and it seemed that they were not in the mood for going to sleep early. Rin was currently watching some show on Netflix, and Haru did his usual: Music from Youtube and sketchbook on his lap. 

Rin could never tell what Haru was currently sketching. They never talked about them, and Haru was ready to share with him only few of his bests. Tonight was no different from the other nights, when he could only see the back of the book and the pen that flew on the paper. Haru was sitting on the couch, computer sitting on it just opposite to him, making the video look like Rin would be below him. A setting he would like to be in if they would have both been in the same room. Sadly there were over 6000km in between them, so being in the same room would have to wait.

The episode of whatever was ending soon, but Rin had already lost his interest in it. Even if the show was still running on his screen, he hadn’t looked at it in few minutes. Instead he had been watching the small video of Haru that hardly moved if you didn’t count his hand that made the pen run on the paper. He had leaned forward to really see the details he was making, and Rin knew that focused look on his face. Haru had the same look when he was about to get to the water. Every part of him was in total focus in what he was doing, and his eyes were lit up with fire. That face was way too intense for something as mundane as drawing, but apparently Haru could give his 100% to it. And boy was it more interesting to watch than the stupid soap opera that Rin had been watching.

As the episode ended, he could see how Haru started leaning back, as if he was admiring his handiwork. His head turned to the side as he draw the few missing lines.

“Is it ready?” Rin asked him, closing up the stupid episode.

“Yeah”, Haru said quietly.

“Can I see?” He clicked on the next episode, but didn’t open the video. Was there any reason to watch it if he wasn’t even watching it. In the corner of his eye Haru raised his blue eyes to see what was going on in the video and placed the pencil down.

“It’s not that great”, said the voice that came all the way from Japan to Australia.

“What does it matter?” Rin said, feeling a bit tired from always saying the same thing, “I’m still going to like it anyway, because you know what: I can’t fucking draw.”

“It is another you”, Haru looked back down and his hand moved on the paper, “I’ve done many of you.”

“Oh? Really? Woah, then I really want to see. Am I looking as great as I did in the one that you mailed to me?” Rin snickered, but in reality he was already rather fond of that drawing. 

“You are interesting to draw”, Haru didn’t answer the question, but started flipping over the papers on his book, “you put so much emotion in your every move that it’s easy capture on the paper. Yet one picture is never enough, and I need to draw another.” He chose a drawing and turned it so Rin could see it. It was not a picture he recognized, so this one was not modeled after anything other than Rin himself. 

“But that’s the moment when I notice something new about how you act or something on your face that I need to capture on the paper”, Haru took the picture away from the video and searched for another picture of Rin to show, “like this one. You were just studying on the video, but you made that face every time you made a mistake.” In this one, Rin had both of his eye browns curled down, and his mouth was making a weird line. He didn’t recognize it as his own face, it was one of those faces you never get to see yourself no matter how you tried to pose on the camera.

“But then there are the few pictures I have of you swimming”, once again Haru took the paper away from the video, just to replace it with the next, “I tried to remember what you looked like when you are in the water. I don’t think it worked out well, because I’ve always been one with the water but I actually have no idea of how the body works while swimming. But I had this picture of you in water burned in my eyes, so I had to get it off before it turned me crazy.” 

This picture was simply Rin in the water. He was naked, but the important parts were tactically censored with bubbles and water. To Rin it looked like a bad excuse to draw his body, but there was something about that picture that made something move in his body. The tears started pulling down on his face as he admired the drawing Haru had made.

“Are you crying?” The voice from his computer asked as Haru took the drawing away.

“Am not!” Rin said, covering his mouth trying to pull the tears back, “I just-. Fuck it Haru, I’m just getting emotional, that’s all.”

“Are they that bad?”

“Bad? Holy fuck, no! No, no, no”, he wiped the tears off his face, “you do know that you are freaking hard to read sometimes. Like, I love you, I fucking love you and I want you to know it. But I never know of what you truly feel. You can be really confusing, you know? But then you do things like this and then I’m even more confused.”

Haru didn’t say anything for a moment, he just stared at Rin and opened his mouth like he was about to say something, just to close it again. 

“I just-. Draw”, he finally said, lowering his face like he was apologizing, “and you are by far the most interesting thing to capture on paper. I-. It’s like an addiction. Like how I want to swim, I also want to-. Do this. Even though I don’t understand what is going on, or why you say you love me.”

“You want to know why I love you?” Rin asked and took a better seat, “well let me make it clear to you. I’ve always admired you, yes? You have always been my sparkle, my reason to go further and keep on swimming. Haru, you are my inspiration and if that is not enough then I don't know what is. I always wanted to be free; and I got the taste of it when we were in Australia together. It’s no question to me anymore of how much I need you in my life, to race me, to push me forward and if I just can I would and will do the same for you. To do whatever it takes from me to make you happy. Always.”

Another silence as Haru went through of what he had just heard. Hearing those words made him crazy, his head started puzzling like it had never done before. 

“Shit, Rin”, he whispered, hoping that his mic wouldn’t catch his voice. 

“Yeah, I know”, Rin laughed, “I am hopeless.”

“Why would you say these things to me if you knew that I can’t ever repay you?” Haru said and saw, how Rin smirked and leaned closer to his mic.

“Haru. You just did”, he whispered with a laugh and a tune that went straight to Haru’s groin. There was an odd, warm, fuzzy feeling inside him, that only Rin had ever been able to make him feel. It was almost like the happiness he had felt when he swam with the guys from Iwatobi, but warmer, one that made him feel worth something greater but also gave him a good reason to make someone else feel the same. It was the feeling he was starting to call “love”, even if he didn’t understand what it was. Warm and fuzzy mixed up with a crazy need to be with Rin, to see him smile and to draw all these pictures of him, happy and bubbly as he always was.

“Looks like someone is being cute and embarrassed”, Rin’s voice told him.

“I am not cute”, Haru defended himself, “don’t call me that.”

“But you are”, Rin leaned at the back of his seat and crossed his hands on his chest, “you are a cute ball of shyness when you get all worked up like that. I feel like I should be pinching you cheek. Kissing it, if you would just allow it. And then you’d be even more red after that.”

“Just the cheek, though?” Haru asked, touching the part of his body they were talking about, “why that?”

“Because it’s cute? I’d kiss you anywhere, cheek, neck, your back, muscles, thighs, butt, feet, fingers, your tummy, just wherever you’d let me. Just to let you feel like you’re being loved”, as Rin spoke, Haru pressed his fingers on that cheek, thinking how it would feel like if the hand belonged to Rin and not him. How his hands would be strong and he would be too eager with them, after getting that special permission to touch.

“Is that-… All?” He asked, not actually realizing that this wasn’t a fantasy of his, but that they were actually talking.

“All?” Rin hummed merrily, “you think I’d stop there? Oh no, no, no, no. Depends a lot of where we are. Where are you right now, Haru?”

“On my sofa?” He said, not realizing what the question was about.

“On you sofa, then. I’d be under you, as your legs would be spread on my sides. I would have the perfect opportunity to suck your neck, right there on the soft spot above your collarbone. My other hand would be on your back, just following the lines of your body, each stoke making you shiver, while the other hand would support you as a hold you up from the behind. And I could feel how hard you’d be from all of that, just as you are right now.”

The last sentence broke the fantasy up and Haru realized that his hand had been falling all the way from his cheek to the said collarbone. He looked at the screen and even he could he the bulge between his legs.

“Oh shit”, he mumbled and hurried to rise the screen so Rin could only see his face. A delighted laugh from Rin’s side of the world made him a bit more embarrassed that he already was.

“Gotcha!” Rin grinned, “but don’t stop now. Can I watch? Am I allowed to see how the great Haruka Nanase gets himself relieved to the sound of my voice or will he run to the bathroom to finish himself up?”

This was the moment and Haru knew it. It was now or never, because if he would back away now, he would back away the next time too. This was what he had been wanting to try with Rin, so the answer was obvious.

“Yes”, he said without thinking it through. He saw how Rin’s eyes widened with surprise.

“Yes what?” The redhead head asked, either just to know he had heard right or to make sure that they were both in the game.

“You can watch”, Haru said, lowering the screen again so it was at the same position it was just a moment ago, “but I want you to keep talking.”

“Really?” Rin was more than surprised, but there was excitement in with voice, “wait, I’m just making this sure: You really want this?”

“Yes.”

“And you know that you can stop at any given moment if you do not feel comfortable?”

“Just get to it before I change my mind”, Haru warned him but placed his fingers once again to the spot they were just a moment ago, “you were here. What do you do next?”

“So wait. On your sofa, you on top of me, legs to the sides, hands on the bum and your back, right?” Rin made sure that they were still on the same page.

“Can I pull your hair?” Haru closed his eyes and though the situation in his eyes. 

“Oh hell yes”, Rin’s voice told the story to him, “the harder the better, just to show me how eager you’d be. If the obvious message between your legs would not be enough of evidence for that. I’d be teasing you, just lightly, pulling your hips towards be so you’d be stuck between our bodies. Slowly it would drive you crazy, because you would know how much you wanted more.”

“You are already driving me crazy”, Haru groaned as his whole palm started slowly making its way down from the neck to his chest. 

“Apparently you are not the only one.”

“Can you take my shirt off?” He asked, wanting to get rid of the clothing still covering his body.

“Oh, it’s still on you?” Rin asked, and Haru could hear how he shifted his position again, perhaps so he could see better, “well, allow me to help you to get it off. I’d need my both hands for it, and I would first just lightly touch the skin of your lower belly. Then slowly, under your shirt, my hands would move up, across your skin, peeling the shirt off. I’d stop at your chest, both hands caressing the smooth skin and making you shiver as you pull your own shirt off to allow me to touch places that were covered by the said shirt.” As Rin spoke softly, lingering on some words, Haru did as the story told him to, peeling the shirt off of his body.

“Like this?” He asked, touching himself as Rin had told in the story. His own touch made him shiver, just like Rin had said.

“Yeah. But I think I have to free my hands from your chest now, because there is a thing a bit lower that I need to take care off”, the sentence was left floating around so Haru could open his eyes and look down. His pants had grown awfully small over this conversation and he was eager to free himself from his pants. He looked up to see Rin, who was currently just waiting what Haru would do next. He had leaned on his table, holding his head up his other hand. The other one was under the table, but there was no question about what was going down there. Haru felt a small pride rising inside him, as he knew it was him and his body that Rin was so hungrily watching. 

“How’d you take care of it?” He asked, trying to manage the same teasing tune he had heard from Rin, who raised an eye brown for the question.

“Right now I’m thinking that I would use my mouth for it”, he said, “that I would lower you on the couch and help myself to open your pants with just using my teeth.” It was something that Haru was sadly unable to do himself, but he thought that he was allowed to use his hands for things like this. He didn’t hurry, because he knew how badly Rin wanted to see this. Slowly he unzipped his pants, moving his fingers on his skin to get lower and he could hear how Rin’s panting got heavier. Haru freed the thing between his legs and as he was fully exposed on the video, the noises from the other end of the call turned even more desperate. 

“Then what?” He asked, finally being able to look at the screen once again. It took a moment from Rin to focus again as he shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“Then I’d suck you off till you’d be moaning my name and pulling my hair so hard I would not be able to tell if you wanted me to stop or to continue?”

“Well, that’s anti-climactic”, Haru teased as he adjusted his position so he would still show on the screen but he also had a better access to move his hands on the length of his own hardness.

“Oh, it’s not”, Rin smirked, “trust me.”

“Is that all you’d do to me?” He asked, as his hand worked himself up and down.

“Haru, are you kidding me?” Rin huffed, almost with a disappointed note, “I would take you right there on your couch if you’d just let me. Or let you take me, if that’s what you want. Change positions so that I’d be on top of you, riding that thing till I could not feel my own legs the next day. Let you finish inside me, and not stop there. If it would be what you want, I’d let you pin me down on that couch, and just fuck me.”

“Would you then be moaning my name?” He let out with a groan.

“Moaning?” Rin took longer and longer pauses as he could no longer focus on what he was talking about, “not moaning, no-… Screaming. I’d be screaming your name, Haru. Begging you for more, to go harder, Haru. I’d be swearing, because you’d made me feel so goddamn good, complete, Haru.”

To hear that name from his mouth was like honey to his ears. No, it was like the sweet waves of the ocean in the night, when the moon had lit up the sky and it was just him and the sea. It was like the first dive after a long ass winter, something he had needed, wanted and waited.

His own lips betrayed him, as he started moaning Rin’s name out loud, not even caring about the story anymore. He had everything he needed on his screen and it was enough to hold the fantasy: Rin panting, leaning back so he could use both hands, eyes focused on the picture he saw on his computer screen. It was something dirty, something Haru was not yet used to but right at that moment he was sure he could get used to it. To do this with Rin. 

And perhaps one day, they’d both be in same country, same city, same room and just the way Rin had told they would be, and perhaps that time Haru could be ok with saying: “yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still need words before I break the magic number 100 000 in Camp NaNoWriMo (just got 70k) so I though that hey, what the hell, I still have that Rinharu-fic and I'm in the mood on writing long build-up and skypesex. So, chapter 2! And because this seemed to take forever and didn't want to end, I had to break this one in to two chapters. 
> 
> Again, please if you saw any funny mistakes in the language, I'd be more than happy if you'd let me know about them - becausethisisnotmyfirstlanguage. Hope you enjoyed your stay and I hope to see you on the third, hopefully last, chapter. Thank you so much <3

**Author's Note:**

> You MAY have noticed by now that English is not my first language. I swear to God, I've read this over like 4 times and there are still some words missing and etc. So sorry about that. Also, I did a small research on take-out in Japan, I actually know nothing about it and for what I found out, the bento-places don't bring anything home but hey, I wanted to write about something else than calling for pizza. Rin has had enough of that in Australia.
> 
> But yay! This is my first published fic on AO3 and also my first output for the Free!-fandom. Thank you SO much for scrolling down here, hope you enjoyed your stay.


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